The Embassy Part 3: In Conclusion

I thought I would conclude with some interesting life lessons I learned from work…
5. The second hand on my watch does do 60 seconds in a minute, I counted multiple times
6. An elderly man who has no interest in the ATM will say “you’re pretty”,
but a young man who doesn’t have interest in the ATM will use the back door to the bank after my first day to avoid confronting me…
7. The most interesting shirt I saw said:

 I’m too
SEXY
for my
HAIR
that’s why there isn’t any
THERE

8. Nobody is boring or annoying when you’re bored enough to count seconds
9. People can’t understand me when I talk OR they don’t know what the word “ATM” means
10. I was disappointed to learn that being an ATM Ambassador doesn’t qualify me for a free upgrade to first class seating on planes.

 

 

The Embassy Part 2: Happy Hour, Bank Style

 Happy Hour at the bank would be Saturday morning, 9am sharp. Couples in their 90s flock to the bank just for the free coffee and donuts. They don’t peform any bank transactions. And I’m suspicious that some of them don’t even have accounts there. And they don’t want to be late or someone else will eat the apple danishes. Needless to say this was the busiest I’ve seen the bank- boy was it hopping! There was a line at the door waiting for us to open. A 92 year old man and I discussed the value of buying cars with ready cash. He told me a joke as well:
A man and a woman in their 60s meet a fairy, the fairy says “I’ll grant you each a wish”. The woman asks for a million dollars to travel the world. But the man asks for a woman 30 years younger than himself. So the fairy goes “poof” and the man becomes a 90 year old. The moral of the story I was told: fairies area always women.

To help pass the time-other than alternately counting the seconds on my watch and trying to avoid checking the time until at least 5 minutes had passed (I never made it past 1 minute)-I’ve started writing down what people say to me:      

                                                     
me: Have a nice day
man: kjdsfj ghoiehw
me: What?
man: Just wanted to see if you spoke Latin
(what he didn’t give me time to say was that I’ve studied French, Italian and Spanish.)

 

One woman in her 40s told me she wasn’t allowed to use the ATM-she’d gotten in trouble for it…”my husband yelled at me.”

 

man: oh I thought you were the new security guard-haha!
(what I don’t look tough?)

 

me: Would you like to hear about our new ATM features?
elderly man: I don’t use it…you’re pretty!