Pictionary 2

These signs were sent to me by my sister from Paris:

Rabbits use the subway too.

Run towards a white brick

stand with your hands on your hips!

5 Most awkward Phone Convos

Things you shouldn’t do while speaking to a customer service rep on the phone (this list probably will be ongoing):

1 Extrapolate on NJ governor Corzine’s need for hair plugs

2 Scream at your husband and tell him he’d better get down on his knees and pray

3 Flush the toilet

4 Say “I’m just getting into the tub” and then splash around for a bit

5 Allow to your oven fire to “burn it self out”

My Car is Smarter than Me

I can do unbelievably stupid things in the U.S. too. (Though is Jersey in the U.S.)? I missed my first alarm this morning which should have been my first clue of how the day would go. I’ve never turned off an alarm in my sleep in my life, but some how I did today.

So today I got to work just as a downpour hit. A torrential downpour. I gathered my stuff up: checked I had my key, put my dress shoes in a plastic bag and got my umbrella ready. But then suddenly I heard a dripping noise and turned to see water flooding into the passenger seat from the sunroof. So I shoved the key in the ignition and hit the button to close it. I couldn’t see anything move, but the flood stopped so it must have been open just a hairline crack. So I was patting on myself that I had sat in the car an extra second and prevented a major flood.

So then I re-gathered my stuff ready to make a mad dash to the building. I opened the door and hit the lock key on the door and then sprinted to the building. The parking lot was a flood and my pants were completely soaked by the time I got in. I went to my desk to sit down and then did my habitual check to make sure I had everything and realized I was missing my car keys. I couldn’t believe it! I pride myself on how I spastically check for my keys and never locked myself out of my dorm during college and here somehow I’d done it. I was too wet to go outside so I described my keys to the security guard in case I had dropped them and phoned my aunt to bring the spare key. I planned to check at lunch if by chance the door was not locked, but I remember distinctly hitting the lock so I didn’t have hope.

4 hours later a mass email went out to the office that a certain car in the parking lot was still running. Running! Pretty soon I was running too. I told my friend where I was going and I ran out to the car. And there it was, running but not locked. I had left my car  unlocked and running for FOUR hours.  Fortuitously the car was smart enough not to let me lock it with the key running in it. Yet it probably meant to also tell me not to leave the car running for four hours. You may think I should have heard noticed the radio on when I got out. But the other car I’ve been driving leaves the radio on even when the key is pulled out and only goes off when the door opens and when the door opened it was thundering so I didn’t hear it. Of course the whole office knew since there was the mass email. My manager asked me if I’d had my coffee… not enough sir, not enough.

Just Nod and Smile

My sister’s Parisian travels are really inspiring me recently. I’m hoping to get a guest post out of her soon! She recently attended her first cocktail party with one of my cousins. It reminded me of my first cocktail party in France where I managed to insult the hostess. It was my first trip to France. I thought I was doing fairly well at comprehension though constructing sentences was still a challenge. I could remember nouns but not not grammar structure. So I was relying on the old “nod and smile.” I was having a great time at the dance since I’m always down for dancing. And I was in awe of everything. So part way through the night the hostess asked me a question about the party. I had no idea what she said so to express my enthusiasm I just resorted to the old “nod and smile” thinking I was showing my pleasure with the evening. The reactions of shocked surprise clued me in that something wasn’t right…When I back-pedaled asking her to repeat someone explained she had asked if I was bored. So my recommendation? Don’t rely on that nod and smile, though maybe the huge smile on my face clued them in that I hadn’t understood…

Pictionary

My sister is currently in Paris and she just reminded me of one of my favorite things about navigating in foreign countries: their signs. We are so used to our own road signs and directional signs in buildings that it is surprising that other people have had different ideas of how to show people around. The following are some of my favorites, feel free to add your own interpretations of what these signs mean:

don’t feed the walrus

why did the penguin cross the road?

“no tromboning in the street”

don’t lean on a friend

don’t travel with giraffes

hard to see but it looks like another don’t drink and drive version

“dont play your flute into your phone”

“don’t drink and drive”

found on a wall in a school

“dig for burried treasure”

fans so strong they make men and women fly?

bathroom? that little girl has to pee I think